Thursday, May 22, 2014

I just want to write about cats, again.


Cotton is our neighbour’s cat.  And she’s a demon.  And I love her.  She’s grey, and has the fluffiness of a Persian, without any of that flat-faced indignation.  And she’s a ball of unadulterated rage. 

It would be safe to say that there’s something very wrong with her.  Or at least the aggression part of her brain has been painstakingly sharpened into a blade of charming malice.  Cotton will fight anything.  Dogs, trees, rocks. . .anything.  We come home to her engaging in tireless battle with the decorative stones in our front yard.  This is even more disconcerting, when you take into account that she is the same color as the stones, like she’s out to eradicate all imposters, regardless of creed or animal-status.

She seems to regard her fluffiness same way Napoleon felt about his height.   She jealously guards her fluffy fur by arming herself in prickly burrs.  Never pet her if you want to keep your hand in tact, and you must never, never pick her up by her middle.   Her once soft underbelly is just a minefield of fur and burrs.   

She has no sense of personal space.  Late one night, you’ll be in your house, wondering what to do with your life, and you’ll hear a soft jingling sound. You’ll continue analyzing and re-analyzing that awkward social-interaction you had weeks ago, without realizing the jingling is getting louder.  Finally, the jingling is a pounding at your door and lo, Cotton has infiltrated your house, giving you a look of bubbling ferocity, like she’s caught you burglaring her house.

Cotton comes and goes as she pleases.  Sometimes she’ll disappear for weeks, and we’ll worry she finally tried to fight the ocean or that she was crushed by a boulder, and then she’ll just appear on our second story porch, taunting the dog.

And sometimes, I see her stalking around the neighborhood covered in bright chalk.  I’m not sure why, but I guess that’s what demons do after they’ve successful terrorized a neighborhood.

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