On Making Conversation In Los Angeles

Let’s say you move to Los Angeles.  Maybe not Los Angeles city, but even just Los Angeles County.  Now that you're there, you might need to talk to people.  I know, big shock, but it might happen.  You’re stammering over small talk, the weather, their shoes.  I'm gonna go ahead and step in, and give you a tip that's going to make you ALL THE FRIENDS. 

No matter what their actual day job (or lack of employment) actually is, everyone is a writer.  Or in the film industry.  Or a musician.  Or a DJ.  Maybe you’ll run into an artist.  Or they know a writer, a film maker, a musician, a DJ or maybe an artist.  Or maybe all these fucking things at once.  So, ask them about their book.  Or what they’re working on.  Or anything.  All of a sudden, the focus shifts from you desperately trying to make conversation into a monologue about how it’s going, the dangers of writer’s block, and how dare that restaurant down the road refuse to make substitutions.  

Recap: If you’re ever stuck in a small room, struggling to make small take, just ask them how their book or script or next piece is going, and BANG! Awkward silence banished. 

This handy little trick even works via text message!  Maybe someone just keeps texting you about their political views, their opinion on that book they read when they were ten, or whatever.  And you want them to shut up.  Or at least start yammering on into a conversation you don’t need to be an active participant in.  Just throw the “How’s your book?” question at them, and they’ll be enveloped into a cloud of narcissism and guilt, indulgently floating away from you.  Leaving you to happily wonder if you’re ever going to find a rug that looks like a sunny side up egg or melting ice cream cone.