I've Seen All Kinds of Girls (And they were all therapists).

My co-worker likes to listen to 80's pop ballads.  I can hear them from my office.  I don't mind (I won an 80's Night quiz because of this), but the amount of cheese in these songs is kind of amazing.  So, today, I told her I would assign a dysfunction to each one I could hear (and if I had time to do it).  This is my list so far.  The analysis aren't as in-depth as I would like (I literally just jotted down whatever I could think of), but this is a pretty good sampling of the immense cheese I am exposed to on a daily basis.

Gloria - Laura Branigan
Paranoid Schizophrenic, delusions of grandeur, persecution complex

Eye in the Sky – Alan Parson
Stalking, delusional

Brass in Pocket – The Pretenders
This is definitely a stalking and torture fantasy.  I can’t think of it in any other way.

Sunglasses at Night – Corey Hart
Self-harm, delusions, hallucinations, paranoia, substance use and abuse
Authority complex?  Fear of authority?
Social anxiety?

Endless Summer Nights – Richard Marx
Unhealthy obsession with the past, early onset Alzheimer’s?
Perhaps a kidnapping?
Suppressed memories
Dyscalculia

California Girls – Beach Boys
Prosopagnosia, Megalomania, blatant objectification of women, lack of better judgment.