Lazy, undead mushrooms

I hate writing cover letters. It's like the essays I used to write in college, where I couldn't get the first sentence down.  Or even the second, third or fourth.  Except in this case, I need to write it.  Not that I didn't need to write those papers, but getting a bad grade isn't as dire as being out on the street.

Man, that's depressing.

So instead of writing that, or in between writing that, let me tell you about my drive to Lahaina this morning.

The drive is beautiful.  That's one thing about Maui:  It's stupidly pretty.  I see multiple rainbows on a 5 minute drive, sort of pretty.  It is travel brochure pretty and just a 15 minute drive from Costco.  And when you're constantly bombarded with this overwhelming beauty it just becomes...commonplace.  Like when you've date a smoking hot girl for years.  This girl has farted in front of you, and you've held her head over the toilet as she's vomited, and you've gone digging through her purse to hand her a tampon.  She's still a smoking hot babe, but she's also the girl who steals all the blankets.  That's what Maui is to me.

But that's completely off topic.  Anyway, on my drive there, sandwiched between mountains and ocean, I noticed these mushroom things on the side of the road.  Maybe about 5-8 inches tall, their mushroom head long and conical, reaching out of the ground like the lazy undead, stretching in the morning sun.

They looked a little bit like the creepy kodama spirits from Mononoke-hime, actually.

Give us your delicious souuuul!

And then I noticed the side of the road was swarming with them.  Before this, I had never even seen mushrooms that tall on Maui, much less dozens of them.  I keep Googling "tall mushrooms Lahaina" without anything helpful showing up.

And while I imagined piles of creepy mushroom baby dolls crawling from their roadside perches, covering my car like maggots swarming rotting meat, I felt the road bumps thump-thumping, warning me that I was straying from my designated lane.

Thump-thump-thump.